Invisible Burdens - Whether In Love or Pain

These are burdens many women carry that the world never fully sees.

My Story

Lately, inspired by a very good friend, I have been thinking more on how we as women carry invisible burdens. Some burdens are carried out of love and others are carried through pain. Many times these two burdens intertwined so deeply in me it became hard to separate them. My mother died when I was twelve, my dad was a rolling stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home, and usually not with us. All my siblings have passed, two older brothers, and one younger sister. I carried grief that I never fully processed for many years. Moving forward, I became a mother, wife, grandmother, and a mother-in-law. These responsibilities were carried out in love. While still carrying the invisible burden of grief, I still found time to love others. I spent most of my life carrying everyone else that I forgot how exhausting this can be. So ladies, I am speaking from experience and I am sure many of you can relate.

Invisible Burdens of Pain

My very good friend has given me permission to share about her, whether or not she knows it, invisible burdens. I’ve seen how this friend, even if she is feeling different inside, is exhausted and patiently responds to not one but two overly emotional young school age children. I have another close friend who lost family members back to back, and yet carried out loving responsibilities to her daughter and new granddaughter. There are many more stories that can be shared. Invisible burdens; carries loss, grief, disappointment, and postponement of dreams to survive. Yet we as women carry these gracefully, that no one realizes how heavy it truly is. This is the difficult thing about invisible burdens, they are easy for others to overlook. Many may be praised for their strength, as if you have a choice, but very few will stop to ask her what her strength has cost her. And yet we keep showing up!

Invisible Burdens of Love 

Some of the hardest burdens we carry are carried out in love. Think about it, you care for others while you are bone dried and tired. Showing up for family when you are emotionally drained. Burdens of love often ask women to carry things quietly, definitely not because you are weak, but because you care so deeply; for children, parents, relationships and sometimes the pain of others. You carry these out with love, compassion, and devotion. Hey, I am not saying that sometimes I don’t get tired but sometimes ordinary sacrifices turned into acts of grace. Ladies, I am the kind of person who finds it hard to accept what I freely give. By this I mean love is strongest not when we silently suffer, but when it learns to receive care as freely as it gives. 

Encouragement of Women

To all of us women who are carrying invisible burdens. I personally know there are days when you feel emotionally exhausted from holding everything together. Days when you put on a smile, helping, working, loving, and showing up for others while quietly carrying struggles no one fully understands. Sometimes as strong women we become accustomed to surviving that we forget we are allowed to rest too. Do not completely fall apart before you take a rest. Most of all remember, if no one fully sees your sacrifices, God sees them.

He sees:

  • The tears we hide,
  • The prayers we whisper,
  • The responsibilities we carry,
  • The battles we fight internally,
  • And the courage it takes for us to keep going.

Do not lose yourself while taking care of everyone else. This is something I had to learn after the death of my husband (that’s another story). Healing is not always loud, but may happen quietly - one prayer, one boundary, and deep breath, and one small step at a time,

I welcome your comments and future suggestions for blogs. This blog represents a space for all women. I will create monthly.